Not for the directionally challenged

Every region has its quirks that challenge the newcomer to find his or her way around. In New York City you have to learn the difference between uptown and downtown. In the Midwest, you have to know which way is north-south-east-west from where you are standing. In Hawaii, you have to know the difference between mauka and makai. These are actually the only two directions that you need- mauka means inland and makai means toward the sea. After all, once you go inland far enough, you are heading back toward the sea again. Those were the first words I looked up in my brand new Hawaiian language dictionary, but nothing will help with the street names.

If you spend any time in Waikiki, which is just another name for downtown Honolulu, you might find yourself winding through the streets looking for the turn on Kaiulani from Kalakaua,or was it Kanekapolei or Kaneloa or Kealohilani? You should have seen us trying to navigate during the first few weeks that we got here! We could never actually sound out the street names in time to make the turn.

"It's K-A-L-A yes, yes, yes, turn here!... Oh no. This is Kalaimoku not Kalakaua."

Try figuring that out in the 10 seconds before you've either missed the turn or made the wrong one, and of course in a city, everything is one way, the wrong way and the printing is extra small on the street signs to get all those letters in.

It gets even better in the residential areas where the streets in an area are often named alike - Uluhala, Uluhaku, Ulueo, Ulupii, Ulupuni, Uluhao, Ulualana, and Uluamahi. These are streets in one neighborhood that sits near the Hawaii Youth Correctional Facility, off the Kalanianole Highway. Ulu means to grow, so maybe these street names are meant to encourage maturity. I'm not sure it's working. Me, I just get dizzy.

Not to give you the wrong impression, of course. There are also streets like Bishop, King, Queen and Duke, or Dole, Young and Ward. When I spot those street names in list of turns I get from an online driving direction site, I have to admit heaving a sigh of relief. At least I can hope to recognize the turn before traffic takes me past.

I've been told it takes three years before you can actually pronounce the street names while driving. I believe it.